India

Dearest,

I know that it has been a long time in the coming of my India 2 and I have lots to tell so I am afraid that you shall receive a big fat dose all at once.

But first, in case I am not able to send another such dose in the next week you know that I wish you the most wonderful New Year. I would say x-mas too normally, but since I am in the middle of nowhere it doesn't really exist for me this year.

The few lined version...here is the explanation.

I have been roaming around Punjab and was about to send an update. Before sitting before a PC for hrs I thought I would take the opportunity to visit the northern most state of India. The foot hills of the Himalayas become very cold very quickly and I had heard of a rather remarkable school tucked away in the hills. I called the principle and he after his warmest welcome I went up. I have been there ever since. This is my second week now out of civilization as we know it and hrs away from any internet site. I am very sorry for those for who were worrying, I have been trying to arrange a ride out to Chandigarh or another big city to use the net for days now....but rides are scare.

I have decided to spend a month freezing by butt for the challenge, and because it is actually a very inspiring place. Out in the middle of nowhere this boarding school of over 1000 students is one of the best in India and I am here working learning classical music, to read and write Punjabi, and generally get my hands dirty with things that I haven't had the opportunity to to date;)

Now the promised fat dose...

Another India
Pooja and I had been told not to shorten this trip for the sake of trying to cram in other countries for apparently India equals a thousand countries in its ginormous self.

But I do not think that this hit home until we ventured out to a different state in our second week. Just the train station when we arrived Amritsar said volumes. The air smelt of cow dung, men were dressed in village toties (a cloth wrapped around the waist to cover their legs) and carried huge bundles upon their heads and everything seemed to be dusty. Not expecting the hoards of taxi whallas that crowded around we were thankfully rescued by Pooj's small cousin who had come with her father in search of two western relatives that they were informed of only the day before.

Family
We were swiftly taken by their car to the house and there warmly and tightly embraced by every one of the seven family members, an embrace that lasted for the entire week!

There is no holding back in Indian hospitality we learnt and were immediately adopted as daughters. This meant that every need was catered for and in return the upmost respect was given. So when I informed of my plans to stay at the Golden Temple, the center temple for the Sikh faith, I was to respect the fact that they rather I didn't do so during the manic diwali season. You all know how well I respond to sensibility that comes with a 'no', so some cultural adjustment had to take place...but I could never have imagined the the extent to which this was to happen over the next few weeks!

The conversations that took place in that household over the following week I think say a lot about the differences there is between western and India culture. They ranged from, the lack of respect we show to our elders in the west, to the father's theory that all Indians that are living in the west shall have an identity crisis within two to three generations and they shall sit in a very uncomfortable position, not feeling a sense of belonging to either nation. Amritsar has experienced a very traumatic 15 years, due the Sikh's demand of their own homeland, which was crushed in brutally militant way by the Indian Government. As a Sikh living in a Hindu household in Amritsar I was amazed at the difference in their accounts of the Indian history, in comparison to the Sikhs in the same place. A difficult thing to comprehend co! nsidering that all children are taught the same history in school, showing it is our own experiences that colours or version of history rather than literature.

The amount of laughter that went on in this family was so heartening and both Pooj and I went away judging family size in terms of fun with personalities rather than in terms of expense and responsibility. Each family member had their own unique position in the home's dynamics, all were equally appreciated, loved and laughed at...'taking the piss' was a phrase that would be uttered many a times by me!

Festivals
I thought that I would be naming this Diwali, but little did I know that Indians like to create a party for everything, just as long as fireworks can be involved. A good indicator of the change in the India that I met 8 years ago and the one that I am seeing today, I think is the improvement that I am seeing in fireworks. Diwali was indeed lit with a bang! But not the dangerous blow your fingers along with it type of Bang, in Amritsar at least the displays that had been organized were truly spectacular. Course extremely colourful, flabouyant and covering every assortment of rockets, whizzing things, fountains...I was watching this particular from inside the grounds of the Golden Temple, and the fireworks were arranged such t! hat they seem to come from the sky above you to become sparkles in your eyes. The sky was lit, and the child's part was the cover the walkways, any ledge, and the side of all stairs with divas (small clay decorative cradle with a thick wick that sits in a little oil so that it is forever lit), these were also placed as floating candles on the lake of holy water in the middle of which the Golden Temple sits.

Food and family was everywhere. Everyone had come together to share their joy and festive mood. The place was buzzing day and night, as everyone was out to visit friends and family with gifts (the family we were staying with got an over load of fruit bowls?!), going out to pick up the array of sweets and special foods that had been made with particular love in the run up, everyone went all out in how they were to treat all those around them. It was made sure that the family had the gift of a sari ready even for the doorman's wife! I felt the buzz as I was whizzed around and in between all the aroromous, dazzling, and chaotically happy alleys with my singing autos (electric rickshaw) whalla.

Hindu's and sikh's would then have a huge family meal, light fireworks, and perform a prayer or Puja in the house, before going out again at night to the sound of more entertaining friends and music, the smell of more luxurious food, and the sight of the family getting dressed up again. I thought diwali was yesterday, was that the eve I stupidly asked. They roared with laughter, no today is a different day, you are not dreaming, today we are going to celebrate our brother/sisters, it is Tika.

Ok, so this is when the sister thanks God for her beloved brother and affectionately fills the parting of hair on his forehead with a red powder and feeds him with a juicy sweet cake. He in return shows his gratitude for her by giving her a gift. This time jumpers (pull overs for the Americans out there) were all the rage, and course, and when dealing with a distant cousin sister good ole money went down well.

A few days later the place was bought to a stand still with firweworks again, for it was Maharaja Ranjit Singh's bicentinery. Who is this guy? An infamous Indian emperor who ruled Amritsar, and then Punjab and then all surrounding areas including the Afghanistan (the only foreign ruler to have ever gained legitimate rule of the Country - ever!). But apart from being great at battles, despite only having one eye, he was most respected for the fact that ruled with single vision too. He is the only ruler who has been able to make the Punjabi's feel Punjabi before Hindu, Sikh or Muslim. A devout and humble Sikh himself, and responsible for the gold that covers the Golden Temple today and the fact that many Hindu families decided that their first born shall be raised in the Sikhism, he was a admirably secular ruler. Thankfully for the Indians he was known to have a sense of humour too, and so could laugh at the lady who came to him during his morning walk and smacked him over the head with a heavy iron pan. That evening she was taken to court and he asked her "WHY???"

"I had heard that whatever you touch turns to gold she said directly."

He chuckled to a guardsman beside him and she left the court that evening with a heavy gold pan in her hands. Anyway, so in remembrance of him and Amritsar went bezerk yet again, and this time the Indian President came down to join them...so the masses of security made things even more fun. In processions that were held I think the number of police exceeded the public, and they would always have something to say to you, but never anything of value!

The shows were worth it though, with 15 men standing on one riding motorcycle, to camels that were dressed up fit for a king, and brave horse tricks and swordsmanship...in one display the fighter was blinded folded and still sliced a banana out of the mouth of his opponent with one heavy duty sword!

In all Amritsar was continual entertainment and a lot of fun, and after my Ghatka classes had finished (the Sikh Martial art that is based on empowerment through the skilful handling of a sword - though I was taught with a wooden baton like stick) I went to visit my mothers closest friend in Ludhiana. Now to cut a long story short after being mothered the whole weekend, and I did not mind the great home cooked food prepared with love I then went to the Garden State of Chandigarh. This is seen as the cleanest place in India. It is true, the streets are wide and leafy, there is no chaotic traffic, or huge crowds that leave litter in their wake, or people living on top of one another. But compared to the rest of India this highly organized state seem! ed dead. It sat somewhere uncomfortably between the first world and the third world and was a place for the retired. As you can probably tell I didn't like the endless suburbs and primness of the place...and so was glad that there was yet another celebration in swing. Gurpur is a national holiday
(Nov 30th) in celebration of the birth of the Guru that found the Sikh religion... that something made the people jump out on to even these empty streets and dance.

Pilgrimage
By now it is evident that the Indians love to worship and Pilgrimage sites scatter India. But course they are always in hard to reach areas in order to test the level of your faith. I decided to visit a 'site of pilgrimage' that was an hour away from Amritsar, by taxi. How is it a pilgrimage I hear you ask...

Wait for this test of devotion...

You do not have to climb huge mountains, or travels across 5 rivers, but rather simply walk down 84 steps to the holy water at a bottom of the well. Ok, now try doing this in the freezing cold temperatures, because it is a tunnel for the cold November air, to bathe in the holy but cold water, and then to read a prayer (which takes approx 15mins) whilst standing in the pool. Now come the test. You move up one sep out of the pool and read the same prayer and then go back down to bathe. Climb up two and read the prayer then go to wash yourself again, then climb up to the third step...repeat the action...

You get the picture. Completion is likely to be (approx) 38 hrs later climbing slowly up all eighty four steps. Why 84? In Sikh Holy Scriptures it is written that a soul will transmigrate through 8, 400, 000 lives and as you wash at after praying at each step you wash yourself of 100 000 transmigrations. The aim of this pilgrimage thus, for one who performs with the purest heart and intention is to wash away all the transmigrations that are awaiting your soul.

To get a realist picture of those that performed this pilgrimage...think of going down to bathe in the cold pool for the 50th time, at 3am, when temperatures are 12 degree Celsius and course the clothes that you change into are of course wet by now. This after a gruelling day when day visitors walk past and stare at your madness, but you would rather that then push yourself in the wee hours of the morning without the body heat and smiles of the crowds.

One for challenge Anneka I think!

I'm an English Man...

...deep) in New York

Of course, I had the intention of writing to you weekly from NYC – but the
nature of the place is such that when you are not doing anything and you
think that it is the perfect opportunity to catch up with e-mails – an
alternative always comes along.

However, I realised from your responses to my last e-mail that the one thing
that I had forgotten to mention is why I was in New York in the first place.

Answer: To partake in an internship at the United Nations Secretariat,
working for UN Radio. For those interested my programs are all on the web
and I can send you a link and the dates if you wish.

Now the shenanigans that I have witnessed at the UN in that last month,
plus, would be entertainment in itself. But I do not think that I can send
out an e-mail about such things. But if I were to say a few words I would
choose to highlight the following:
· Since Iraq the UN has been thinking long and hard about its role in the
world. re: how exactly it is acting as a peacemaker and development agent.
This I believe shall result in a drastic shake up of the system, for the
better.
· Secondly, only after working here have I learned how true is the phrase
‘America has no allies, only interests’. These are interesting times …
· Thirdly, Nicole Kidman and Sean Penn are starring in Interpreter, which is
a film based at the United Nations (filmed in the evenings and weekends) and
for me it represents the underground politics that are pervasive.
In sum, I have been learning lots, being exposed to the best and worst sides
of human nature, the extremities of politics and the juxtaposition of hope
with interests and reality.

Now, there are a few small highlights that I would love to share, so when
you have a moment, on the bus, train or at the gym…print this out and enjoy
the read.

WIERDO’S
One day in April my li’l brother wrote me an e-mail, in which he wrote, ‘so
dear didi (sister) – what A-list parties have you been to recently in the
big NYC?’ When I read this I thought – bless, my little sixteen year old brother has
such a romantic notion of New York…cute but so naïve.

That night, after attending a Beethoven recital at Carnegie Hall (the
inspiration of some friends at work) I thought I would join another friend
at a house party, since the people I was with were going to call it a night.
It was rather far out and the whole way there, I kept wondering if it was
really worth it – I was alone, it was nearly one am, and it was raining. I
got to the given address and there were two drag queens dressed to the nines
outside the apartment block. Hummm…this was going to be another quirky New
York party I thought to myself.

But I did not imagine the type of quirky that I was to encounter. I took
the lift to the 40 floor and the doors opened out to an amazing penthouse
sweet, which was all windows. You could see the whole of Manhattan from the
outside, and inside there were the most bizarre looking people dancing. I
felt as thought I was in a time wrap and walking into the future at the same
time – lots of tall, skinny people with some feathered, some nude and some
in shiny materials, to name but a few.

As I walked through the crowd looking for my friend I learned that it was an
Icelandic fashioned designers 30th birthday party, and all her weird and
wonderful friends had come to surround her. Who was the cook – none other
than a chocolate wizard, the designers were pony, and the DJ – was none
other than Bjork. We danced the night away surrounded by weird everything.

But I realised that weirdos are not only at weird Icelandic parties, they
are teeming all over the place. On your way to or from work someone dressed
as a preacher, prince or parrot very well might greet you with a ‘morning
baby doll’ – they all seem to have a southern drawl too!

One definition of weird could be – one who looks or does something out of
the norm, and this can sometimes even be endearing. Imagine sitting in a
Starbucks, head down, editing some minidisks. Three hours later and your
head is still down apart from the occasional toilet break or phone call. I
am on my fifth disk, thinking that I will never be done, loosing my
concentration, when a note is slipped upon my table.

It said: We know that you are studying, and we really did not want to
interrupt or intrude, but we wanted to invite your for dinner at our
favourite Indian restaurant. I looked up and there were three faces smiling
at me – one of the boys said ‘Leaving in 15 minutes, but would wait if you would care to join.’ And so it was, before I knew it I was out with a Turkish girl, Pakistani Boy and Indian Boy. The evening was interesting to say the least!

ROLLER - COSTER
I hope that I am getting across that it is not all good / bad in New York.
Being here is a combination of the two, but having always the extreme of
each. So, I would say that my journey here so far has been like a
Roller-Costa ride. Likened to the transport that are the cities arteries.
The Taxis, are run by Indian or Pakistani Mafia and so need I say more;)

The Subway is a whole another story – there is a subway God somewhere who
loves to play subway jokes. What am I doing in Harlem again? You ask this
question to yourself regularly. Trust me, you are not there because you
wanted to go to Harlem, nor because you are stupid…but because trains here
just switch from the track that they normally travel on. So if you think
you are waiting on the platform for a train to take you in one direction,
you might find that another train that will take you somewhere very
different has sneaked onto that platform. Please do not ask me why. I am
constantly late here – more than the usual Mandeep lateness, because
whatever address you are travelling to you can guarantee that it will
consist of going across the city, which the trains do not do. Or that the
train you are on is express and so you miss your stop and ten after that.
Or that you were meant to be in the first three carriages of this particular
train if you wanted the doors to open at the next stop. The subway
seriously is a continual source of humour in my life.

Whilst crossing the road on any occasion you will notice how much anger in
the city – I really wonder where it can all come from. Almost everyday I
hear fowl language from either the pedestrian or the driver – a great day to
start the day. No wonder people come into work a little agitated!

One day I could not have been more anti New York. Fed up of being pushed
out of the way on the streets, fed up of the weirdos always looking, fed up
of the never ending claustrophobic towers that team over head and suffocate
you. It is dirty, rat infested, lonely, uncaring, and complete rubbish for
the mentally ill, who slip through the feeble social security net and wonder
hungry through the city. So as I got on to yet another over stuffed, late,
and smelly tube my only recluse was my diary. I put my head down and
scribbled away, and only ten minutes later did I realise that the girl next
to me was doing the same. I learned that we had an equally bad day – but
this is not such a big deal. Two and a half weeks later when I was on
another subway, writing about an excellent day – as I looked up I saw the
same girl again, doing the same thing. Now considering the population of
New York - that was incredible!

RELIGION
There have been some interesting religious events. For example, the Fifth
of April was Passover, perhaps on of the highlights of my trip so far. I sat around a
family table surrounded by my friends’ Jewish family and friends, and I,
being the only Jew there, felt so privileged to be getting such an insight.
Passover is a festival that resembles the journey of Jews from Egypt to
Israel, away from persecution. Before you eat a delicious but very odd meal
of many courses, including nut paste and crackers (!) you say prayers which
are accompanied by symbolic gestures. For example, at one part of the meal
everyone around the table dipped parsley into salty water and ate it – in
memory of the tears that were shed. ‘The other’ was mentioned on numerous
occasions in the prayers – ‘the other’ being the non-Jew persecutor, and
suddenly I did not feel so relaxed! But seriously, it was an amazing
insight into a culture that I feel that few non-Jews actually know very much
about.

Holi – for those of you that went to India with me via my e-mails will
remember the festival of colour that I described. The one in which the
whole of India becomes berserk and throws colours at one another. Well,
imagine I am on my way to the Statue of Liberty, for which you have to take
a ferry, when I come across a park with a hoard of white t-shirted college
students in it, of Indian decent. They were getting ready, physically and
psychologically, for Holi, New York Stylee. This means that you are
assigned a number – and since you are split into two teams there shall be
two people who are twenty nine say. Then you wait for you number to be
randomly called out, at which point you try to run to the pot of colour, to
get it before your counterpart, and splash the coloured powder all over
them. American over frantic organisation can only last so long, until the
whole game becomes a big free for all and everyone goes wild. By the end of
my time in the park I was red, yellow, green, purple, blue, orange,
pink…coloured all over, including my face, had some white flour sprinkled
over me for good measure. And then some real bright spark threw a glass of
water at me so that it would all become a gooey paste. The interesting
thing for me was realising that no one else in New York knew why you were
walking around like a colourful clown, and people, at the sight of you would
go wild – wild with their smiles, curiosity and humour.

This Sunday I went to a non-denominational Christian Church and I was blown
away by the energy. The singing and dancing was contagious, the community
of people spread their love throughout and the speakers were inspiring re:
Ravi Zacharias – check him out!

Saying that, religion has not been all that easy to swallow, either. Last
week there was a Pro Choice march in Washington. Apparently the largest in
the history of the Untied States. What surprised me however, was the
powerful way in which the millions of pro-life supporters got their message
across. In cities across the United States, pro life supporters simply
stand with larger than life billboards before them, that have the most
shocking pictures of bloody and deformed foetus’. I include this into
religion because in this case religion is used in support of the pro-life
argument.

SOME TRAVEL
Boston – we were tourists, and found the city to be wonderful, but Harvard
campus was letdown to be honest.

Philadelphia – went to build a children’s playground in the roughest part of
the city. Even our black taxi driver would rather have not driven through
to get us to the school.

Croatia's complexities

But by far, the most memorable trip of the year was to Croatia with Gavin. The country is made up of over 1000 islands – some are just forest, others are a string of beaches, others are like teardrops that have fallen from the sky, and one of my favourites was a national park with all of the above and a hotel! Croatia is a must in every respect, the history of the country is fast disappearing in some places, and there is rapid progression. But other areas are like deserted ghost towns where the remains of bombings have not been cleared up – a visual reminder of the serb-croat-bosnian conflict that has been etched in some minds here, forever. We were given a ride by a Muslim Serb who had run away to Croatia and joined the army. Though he could not speak a word of English, and our Croatian is certainly limited, he was able to convey some of the many complexities of the conflict through the intricate lines of divided loyalty which continue to separate people, states, and futures.

The EU was now being resented for the demands in place, and locals seem not to want their leaders to join. There were some places with incredible religious and regional harmony, and in other towns were literally divided in two by a town or bridge. I also visited Sarajevo which is a fine example of this.

Dubrovnik is like something out of a fairy tale, with cobbled meandering streets surrounding tiny fountains, the large town hall and a massive cathedral – all enclosed by a grand and guarding city wall.

Though Croatia is popular with Europeans, in some ways it also feels like the best kept secret, but in fact we realised it is the way that the tourists are kept that is the secret. The tourist industry is not the usual string of hotels running down the coast, but rather you are encouraged to stay with locals. This is, of course, also helped by the 1000s of islands one can escape to, in addition to the long and diverse mainland, which is covered with modest, classy, private holiday homes. Honestly, if you are looking for somewhere to retire to, Croatia should be high up there – with great food, hospitality and sense of friendship. Living with locals is great because not only do you get a sense of all three first hand, it feels as though your memories are richer somehow, thoroughly recommended.

Colombia is cool

I am finally writing from South America. I do not think I realised the thoughts that could be going through your head, until I experienced the London attacks from a distant. Not hearing from people after phone calls and emails was scary, so I apologise for being distant, and will be in touch a lot more often.

I have made it to Colombia. Yes, yes, it is all true; there are guerrilla, drug cartels, and hot women. But these are only a part of the story, the real danger, I feel, and I have been here for nearly a month now, are the paramilitary.

Despite the above I have really fallen for Colombia. It is truly inspiring, and the first Latin American country in which I have felt at home. For me this has been a Latin American version of New York, there is always lots happening, things move fast, and people are informed and connected. Bogota is brilliant. About the size of London, and similarly it takes about an hour to get anywhere, but instead of being a collection of villages, it is a simple split between the North and South. The further South you go, you are no longer on paved roads but driving through dirt tracks, serious ghettos, and few people have a place to call their own. Up north you live in your own apartment with marble floor and gold taps. This inequality means that few people have houses in the middle, because they are so vulnerable. You simply will be robbed. So people live in highly protected luxury apartments. You can tell this simply by the view of Bogota as you first fly or drive in. At day you can see the so called misery belts (or shanty towns) in the South, shacks piled on top of each other on the sides of the mountains that surround the lake that Bogota once used to be, and in the North there are apartments surrounded by trees. At night, you see lights far apart from each other like stars in the North, and crammed together to make the yellow brick road in the South.

Why is the division more extreme than other Latin American Countries?
Well, there are many reasons, but one principle reason is that the really rich are very well connected, and life in Bogota is so very much easier and sweeter with connections. In some cases, some of these connections are with the narcotics industry, for this money is pervasive. Meanwhile, the poorest of the poor are the refugees who are given literally hours to leave their homes if they are in the way of the guerrilla cocaine channels.

Taking a second to look at the more commonly portrayed image of Colombia; The vision that was once associated with the 'communist' work of the Farc – the main gorilla movement, has long gone, and now they are seen as simple terrorists. But it is not easy to contain them or bring peace, when the paramilitary and police can be so easily bribed to work with them. This is why I would say that the police and paramilitary are even more dangerous, because in a time of warfare, you may make the mistake of turning to them for protection. The situation that I am describing exists primarily in the rural areas, so moving around the country, can be dangerous if your route is not common. However, Colombia has changed greatly in the last few years, shown by the dramatic changes in Bogota, and safe opening up of the rest of the country.

For a visitor the country is safe, and because there are not many tourists perhaps, people are exceptionally friendly. I have found Colombians to be immensely warm and big hearted, and they go out of their way to prove to you that Colombia is not hell on earth, but rather paradise. And to be honest, it is stunning! Travelling up into the country from the south, there are snow capped mountains in the background, with a lush rolling hills in the foreground, the eastern half of the country is pure Amazon, the northern coast is Caribbean, and hidden in the national parks are scenes straight out of the Beach – for those who have watched the film. There are deserts, forests and muddy swaps and the extent of this diversity means that there are many very distinct cultures. The climates and variety in environments also means that they have an immense variety of fruits, that I have never heard of or tasted before, and every time you sit down for a mean there will be a new taste on your plate. In addition, food is great, really varied and always delicious – though they have a real fetish of mixing sweet with sour. Music, dance, dress…everything is rich in its depth and quality.

Colombians have a great deal to be proud of and they know it. What makes me feel so happy here are the people. They are so much fun! Really inventive, though some perhaps might say that they can be a little too clever for their own good. The streets reflect what I mean. Everything goes. You do not need to have taken lessons to drive, you just need to buy a licence, and it shows. The rules are not to use an indicator; you are the king of the road, and red simply means speed up so that you are not in the way of whatever on coming traffic there may be. I kid you not, I know, I was involved in a small accident, and see the remnants of one almost everyday. On top of this chaos are the buses. Imagine what it is like if every third vehicle in Bogota is a bus, with bus drivers who are kind enough to stop whenever some one puts their hand out? Apart from the cars behind having to be quick, but passengers too, doing a running jump in or out of these 'never quite stopping' buses. Then inside the buses there is almost 'Colombian Rumba' (party). For almost every bus plays hot salsa, has flashing coloured lights and there are entertainers, on top of which sellers passing through. You can buy anything on a bus; from a razor, notebook or bulb, to a radio/alarm clock, and beyond.
Most of these things are made in China, but if you ask for something, then word quickly goes around the sellers, and whatever you want is yours. What is also interesting is the way that the sellers get you to buy what you do not need. If perfume, for example, is the product, then the vendor will give everyone their own individual bottle – of what they imagine you would like. So for a while, you think it is yours, the box is in your hands, you open it, and perhaps try the scent on, such that by the time the vendor comes back around to you on the bus, you are more likely to give them a little money to keep the product, than return the product. An easy sale.

Speaking of things easy, beauty is becoming easy. There is a real obsession with looks here. You go to clubs and parties to look and be seen – dancing, drinking, being merry comes second in many occasions. It is the same even when you go to the gym. I went this morning, and barely anyone broke out in a sweat. It is just not the done thing!
If you sweat, you would upset your make-up, and your tight clothes will begin to show sweat patches. Yes, there are J-Lo look-alikes everywhere. You know the type. Big earnings, slick straight hair, a tight pink or grey tracksuit type outfit, and perfect skin. In the strive for perfection, there is a phenomenal boom in plastic surgery of every kind. These things just aren't a priority in countries like Bolivia, I guess that is why it has taken me by surprise. Having a beauty queen, not only for the region or country but for every product under the sun…coffee, guava, or trucks, makes you realise that beauty is really something more than important here. It is celebrated every day for occasion, product or reason. You understand the reasoning, when you see that a ladies life can be turned upside down in terms of fortune, and everything is at your finger tips if you are one of the most beautiful. Rich men here, more than in any other place that I have been to, fall at the feet of the beauties.

Saying that, the women are not bitchy, far from it, some of the most incredibly warm people that I have ever had the fortune to meet, have been Colombian. Experiencing almost every part of the city and every level of society here, from the female shoe cleaner to the country's first lady, there has been nothing but charm.

Colombia is very different to the neighbouring countries of Ecuador, Peru or Bolivia. Here there is a high level of consciousness about almost everything…from Sundays being a cycle day and so many roads are blocked, to having one of the most prominent (and for most, the first) stand up comedies in the world (Andreas Lopez is like the Ali G of
Latin America) to the study of conflict and peace – one of the most developed themes in literature. So, why is it that there are so few people visiting Colombian?

Well, it is working hard to shed its image of being a place of warfare and danger. There are parts to be avoided, but these are few and far between. The rich Colombians perhaps have a little paranoia, and security in homes, cars and work is tight, but perhaps rightly so because even I, who has nothing apart from a audio recorder, found that it was missing, even though I thought it was attached to my body!

When I told a friend about what had happened he assured me I was not alone, 'I guarantee 100% have experienced theft, at some point'. Not sure that made me feel as good as he intended. So, the idea is to become even smarter than your average Colombian. Not easy.

Have lots more to say about Colombia, but will stop now. I did not want to show only the good, or only the bad, so I hope that this is a fair selection of some impressions. More than any other country in Latin America, I feel that Colombia is one place that could do with accurate accounts, and not fiction for it is changing fast, and this is hardly known. (For anyone who has recently seen the opening scenes of the film Mr and Mrs Smith – which are meant to be based in Bogota, but are not even shot here! The film shows warfare, mafia and bombings – and is highly offensive to Colombia, and is generally being ignored here.)

'guay in Paraguay and Uruguay

From initial impressions Paraguay and Uruguay could not be any different.
My stay in each was very brief but essentially the two neighbouring countries
are like good cop, bad cop standing side by side.

I think that one little story from each that were experienced as soon as I crossed the border will tell you everything.

Getting to Paraguay is easy via Brazil. There is simply one bridge that acts as a border between the two countries, at the Iguazul falls, so I decided to take advantage of the proximity and go and visit.

The taxi driver who drove me to this bridge, (but was not willing to cross it - due to a lack of a passport among other reasons) told me to guard all my belongings with my life, and that it was preferable that if anything was important to me, not to take it with me at all.

Ok, I heard him, but you do have to take a little money, your passport, camera (which was permanently attached to my body anyway by this stage of the trip), and the clothes on my back at least. As I begin to cross the bridge, upon which there are few cars, but lots and lots of motorbikes (the perfered form of transport in Paraguay) I wonder how different a nation can be, given
they have similar if not the same climate, soil, language, religion, and by and large ancestry.

Whilst crossing the bridge, which was not so long, there was a gust of wind and my cap fell off and went into the road. The stream of motorbikes was such that you would be crazy to jump out into the road, but I had followed the cap with my eyes and could see where it had landed. Another motorbike driver also saw the landing, and picked the cap up. I cheered – how kind! I applauded the driver and when he looked over I waved at him with one hand and signalled that it was mine with the other. I had a massive "I'm so grateful" smile on my head, and immediately began to think of ways to thank him – what to say, or what to give. He looked me in the eye, smiled back, and then whilst still watching me he put the cap on his own head and sped on his way, leaving me in his gust of smoke in the background.

I could not believe it. The taxi drivers words wrung in my ears. He was right. Be careful with everything. Unless it is plastered on to you, like your eyebrows, it can be stolen and most probably will be.

The whole town in fact is run upon this philosophy. You could buy any electrical item that you may ever have dreamt of, at just a fraction of the price. You never need to pay more than a quarter of market value for anything – the latest cameras, laptops, palm pilots, camcorders, memory cards, play stations, you name it, they were all there. I felt a little sick because only recently had I had all luggage stolen from my locked hotel room in Argentina. This town was bordering both Brazil and Argentina, so trafficking international stolen goods would not be much of a problem. Only I could not help but search for my own goods, half praying that life would not be so obviously corrupt and sell my own belongings back to me after theft, whilst another part of me was willing and grateful for an opportunity to get my stuff back, and for such a bargain price.
The microphone that had gone with the rest of my belongings was the most valuable item – not in terms of valuable, but in terms of its utility. It was desperately needed and I had investigated and no where in South America could I find a top quality voice recording microphone. In the end I had to have one sent out to me, only for it to be held in customs of various countries on route. So back to Paraguay – it felt dodgy in every respect. The passport control were too busy communicating with the girlfriend of one of the internal officers, so those waiting at the desk to get our passport stamped, were just shooed away. On exit there was no one even manning the passport immigration counter. So just as it did not matter than I was not given a stamp upon entry, exit was just as relaxed and careless.

The men and women also seemed to be careless in a way. Perhaps it was because I was coming from Brazil , but I found the women to really not care about how they looked, as long as lots of flesh was showing. The clothing was generally bad quality and limited, with visible stocking and bras to be the common theme. In this town at least the men were similarly presentable. All clothing was a fake brand, not well copied, and old looking. The people I saw were either street vendors or shoppers and everyone was out to get a deal – me included. I only bought two things, and in each instance I was scared of being 'done'. First I bought a memory card. The only electronic item that my conscience would allow me to buy - for some unknown reason, it did not seem to be an item that was serious in being someone else's property (!). But though you are only meant to pay a fourth of market value, as soon as I came to buy, I realised that rules are different for foreigners, and since it is thought you have money, it is also thought that you should be made to pay more. So bargaining began and all vendors stick together so it is rather difficult – I say this as an someone trained in India, so that's saying something. The second item I bought was sunglasses, perhaps good fakes or stolen (less likely in this case) from a stall. I did not have change and so I had to give a hundred dollar bill, and then as I stood by the stall waiting for the vendor to get change it dawned on me that I was not going to see him again. The sunglasses were two dollars and I had stupidly given a hundred dollars. Nothing on the stall was even worth a dollar, so the vendor could safely leave his merchandise under the watchful eye of his neighbours and disappear until I was tired of waiting for him. After all, what was I going to do? Take off with everything on his stall, and be beaten up by neighbouring vendors? Or tell the police, and again be beaten up (either by the police them selves – it is very common or neighbouring vendors)? Or would I just wait, and wait, and wait, and miss transport out of this city. Nothing was a straight forward as one would have liked.

I left Paraguay with very little change in my pocket – only small coins that would be my souvenir of the country, a memory card and sun glasses. I avoided the skin coloured plastic breast plates on sale everywhere, and passport control again seemed too busy and avoided me. So thankfully with my camera still safely hidden under my armpit, I crossed the border back over to Brazil (capless).
The strange thing is that almost a week after my very shady experiences in Paraguay, I did not have any souvenirs or trace of having visited the country. So there was no stamp on my passport, it would have been silly to take out my camera and any point (an open invitation for the thieves on the streets and in the shops), and my wallet had been pick-pocketed a few days later from my jean pocket on a sub way in Chile – so my souvenir coins had disappeared too. The sunglasses were accidentally lost in a train before I had even worn them, and the memory card was stolen along with the rest of my luggage from my hotel room in Argentina (doh!) So admittedly a little bad luck followed but I thought it interesting that nothing from Paraguay remained in my possession, as you would expect if you buy stolen goods perhaps, (just a thought with respect to karma;).

Uruguay on the other hand was the complete and utter opposite. A country of similar size and importance in South America, and yet it was so pretty, organised and respectful. It was a pleasure to visit through and through, and again only a border town was experienced. But unlike Paraguay, really good food was readily available, it had a strong artistic culture and there was a lot of splendid local art available in terms of paintings, jewellery, beautiful decorative gifts for people and their homes. This town, which is just a ferry ride from Buenos Aires, San Christobal (or something similar) was full of character and charm. From the moment I arrived, on a cold, wet and dark mid week evening, I felt as though I was being looked after. My guide book had suggested a small hotel. But by knocking on the door of the address, I learned that it had since closed down. 'Don't worry, just call me aduelo (grandfather) and I will ensure that you are fine dear grand child' said the owner of the house, 'follow me'. Naively perhaps, I followed, and he lead me to a neighbour's house which had big grand wooden doors and turned out to be the most quaint little guest house that used to house royalty during the days of Portuguese colonisation. With portraits and pictures greeting you at every corner, a grand dinning hall and seating under windows, next open fires, and in uniquely styled reading rooms. My bathroom was the size of a good sized swimming pool with a washing tap, equipment and room for almost each and every part of your body, a huge stand alone bath like in the adverts of Cadbury's Chocolate Flake (apologies to those who do not know why I am getting excited here), and a variety of scented soaps. It was hard to say no, and hereafter it was as though one was being pampered all the way in Uruguay. This is a little like how one can feel in the grander parts of Buenos Aires, which are affordable and so very classy. I could go on about Uruguay, but you get the picture.

My experience of Argentina and Chile was equally as contradictory. Argentina has so much on offer in its beautiful country and it is done with real style. Tango is perhaps one cultural offering that sums up Argentina. There is a rich history that today's experiences are built on; whether this be cuisine, architecture, recreation or culture.

For example, even a place that is normally avoided, such as a cemetery is like a work of pleasurable work of art in Buenos Aires, with each grave in fact being a whole chamber for the family underground. But it is not morbid, but rather a very well maintained, often lit up, scented and decorated chamber with a particular style of tomb. So one family might choose a minimalist, Armani style tomb, while another may create a baroque, roman, or oriental themed vault and so the family's stamp continues.

This brings us back to tango and passion, because Argentina seems to be all about throwing passion into xyz. Tango actually comes from a long history of mafia and was originally a form of displaying your prowess man against man. Today it is the same challenge of energies, but in the form of one of the most highly charged dances that exists between a man and a woman. It is empowered, trusting, and intimate. Great to participate in, watch or be surrounded by, and there is ample opportunity for all in Argentina .

There is also the opportunity for everything and anything else. In the same country you can find the largest glaciers, the wildest and most awesome range of forest colours, entire colonies of species on tear drop islands, ranches and country mansions, tiny huts next to rivers and waterfalls, huge vineyard estates, tropical beaches, hidden lakes in the most challenging of mountain ranges. With the pleasure being in the fact that people have a real pride in their particular region or speciality, and their maintenance of the country shows this. Travel is easy, and to feel welcomed, at ease, and very lucky is even easier. There is a lot to share, because people are so receptive and aware, as well as being beautiful in many other respects too.

I know it seems as though I fall in love with every place I visit, but really, it is hard not to be happy in Argentina. Chile however, is my chance to say something different, if you like variety. My personal experience is that life was a lot more bland and almost boring in Chile, and this is again reflected in the cuisine, architecture and national pastimes. Of course there are many unique and wonderful places to escape to, my personal favourite being Atacama Desert for the way in which it is one of the best windows to our solar system. The way in which one can see observe the sky in this mountainous desert with almost continuous clear skies is unparalleled anywhere else in the world. The largest telescopic array in the world (made up of 36 separate telescopes) is currently being set up near San Pedro, and will provide our best insight into how stars are formed, how they die and all in between, looking further, wider and deeper than we ever have before.

The Atacama Desert, to my surprise, is one place where you can become lost in many wondrous adventures, for there are so many differences in what sand can produce and at the height of the Andes some of the most impressive dune valleys in the world have taken shape. It is a little like visiting the Taj Mahal in different places, for the sand is like white marble in some places, almost dusky pink in others, and deep brown in others. The texture of the formations produced by years of wind erosion combined with the tricks of sunlight creates some out of this world sights that are beyond imagination.

I suppose I should not be so down on Chile therefore, and I am sorry if I have offended any Chileans. But to my defence (!) the rest of South America sort of feels the same. Chile does not have good relations with its neighbours for many reasons. And when leaving Chile for Peru I experienced first hand why this might be. Chile's national airline had an ad campaign trying to put people off Peru, so that one would stay longer in Chile! At this point I knew it was time to leave!

South Africa - ca - ca

My only real first hand glimpse / experience of South Africa before a visit, was through those South African's that I had the fortune to meet – so primarily it was the accent. This is one thing that remained consistent throughout the trip and always gave a sense of comfort, ease and well being. There is something so friendly about the accent, that it almost doesn't matter what is being said, you feel good. I had this feeling from the moment I arrived at Heathrow Airport, and the women at the check out were just as excited as me about my visit (so long as I am not planning to go to Johannesburg, they warned).

So my first stop was cape town, and I am so pleased for the advice, for it became one of the best experiences ever. There is everything that you can image on offer in and around Cape town. The views from Table Mountain or the Water Front where the breeze from across cape town comes up to tingle your neck, to the bottom of the cape where you can feel the warmth of the Indian Ocean caress your toes. Activities, from riding along the beach at sunset along the Cape, to paragliding, bungee jumping, sky diving, swimming with dolphins, surfing at Llandudno, driving along Chapman's Peak Drive , or dancing in tulips. Scenes such as the mass of penguins on Islands off the bay tip, to the colours of Rainbow coloured painted facades of Bo-Kaap or the shades that run across the sky at Camps Bay. Music is varied, rich and proud, from the grandeur of Jazz dazzling in the bars of Cape Town, to the contagious beat of African drums along the streets. Food is wholesome, organic and favoursome. The fresh fruits at breakfast entice the appetite, such that you are eager for the sea fish at lunch and the BBQed meats at dinner. Each restaurant was a very different eating experience, from Licester Hall, to the Havana on the rail tracks, and designer deli's. The sun makes everything glisten, and the sea gives every faces a shine.

Beyond Cape Town a car is a good idea. There is Garden Route to be explored – which runs along the coast line. You can discover some of the best seafood in the world, some of the most secluded and spectacular bays, and one of the real gems of the route is Kysn…where there is the most idyllic lagoon that stretches out before the beach. This makes for a peaceful retreat in private hidden chalets that blend into the Milk Wood trees that they lie under. Further in, there are ostrich farms, historic towns, and rugged wilderness with its own unique flora and fauna to be found inland. All on your path to the not-to-be-missed vineyards at Franshook. This is a scene out of heaven. Vineyards are Dieu Donne; it can only be a gift from God to have a Jacuzzi amongst the flowers, which lies next to a lawn where you can dry off and picnic, before you run into the vineyards to quench thirst! The cabins hidden within the vineyards were exclusive and discrete, and food on offer in the small French restaurants gently scattered over town were exquisite. Further a field in South Africa one can go on Safari, experience the lost Kingdoms of Swaziland and Lesotho, or even visit the Las Vegas of Africa. Either way, time in South Africa is very worthwhile…

One of my most poignant experiences was that of colour. Like never before I was constantly aware of my own colour and that of others. In England I have been bought up Churchdown, a village lying in between Gloucester and Cheltenham. There were very few people of colour in either town let alone in the village, and so at my white school, in amongst my white friends, having white fun, I did not realise that I was any different. I wasn't any different, and apart from some odd instances (such as a little boy tripping me up at school, hurting me a little more than he meant to, in order to see whether the colour of my blood was any different), I was never made to feel any different. In South Africa however, to feel a sense of belonging, difference is all one can see. The whites belong with the whites, the black with the blacks, the coloureds with the coloureds (who are a mix of the black and white), and the Asians with the Asians. I did not expect it to be like this, particularly after apartheid, but it seems that people feel most comfortable with their own, in their own place, own schools, own hang out joins, own environment. It will take a generation at least for things to change and some rather drastic and painful measures are now being put in place.

Under apartheid blacks were not able to leave their town. You needed a special card, giving you permission to travel, without which you were destined to your little town. Blacks were not able to be in the streets after 10pm. Which meant there was no night life, no going out dancing, no late drinking with friends, particularly because blacks were not allowed to drink either! There were black schools, black hospitals, black streets, black everything…so blacks n' whites remain totally separate in every sphere, each with their own pre-designated resources.

Even today the quality of education that blacks received in relation to whites is poor, and at times I found it difficult to understand the ir English. But none-the-less, in order to address this complete imbalance, there are now quotas in place so that blacks are given the jobs that were otherwise restricted. Though in some ways this is a disservice to the country, because the person who gets the job might not necessarily be the one most qualified for it, in a generation or so, some rightful balance will emerge. False opportunities must be created right now, in order to off-set the false restrictions that have been in place for so many years.

The white population of South Africa are experiencing a hard time now. For those with their own business things are somewhat stable, and as long as they fulfil their quota of black and coloured employees, things work well. But young white graduates are finding it difficult to find the type of job that they have been qualified for. If you have a young white South African sportsperson, you might find it difficult to get national funding in comparison to your black counterpart. Approximately 60-80 white doctors leave South Africa every month. So you can imagine at the frustration that the whites are currently experiencing and the resulting drain or loss in society.
The coloured community are interesting, because what is life like if you are neither white nor black in South Africa. Answer: Sometimes good and sometimes bad. They sometimes benefit from the quota system and are sometimes hindered. In general, they were treated preferentially to the blacks during apartheid, but less after apartheid. With everything they always lie somewhere in the middle, and naturally they are resenting the blacks now.

With the Indians it is a little different. Most of the Indians are not directly from India , but have lived in Malaysia or Singapore before had and come to South Africa via trade links. Rather than see themselves as a pawn of apartheid, like the other colour groups, they almost see themselves as being outside of the system. That does not mean that they did not fight against apartheid, many did and were highly involved, but they were not affected to the same degree as the coloureds. Education was very important in the community, which was often apart and separate from the black, white and coloured areas. This meant that when it came to jobs they were preferred and so never suffered as much as the coloureds. So they do not seem themselves as coloured, or white, or black…though they are just as segregated as each of the other groups, even today. Do something as simple as going to a shopping mall, and you will experience how everyone still sit, walk, and eat in their own colour groups. This is comfort they tell me. One day soon, for the up and coming generation there will be assimilation, but not quite yet…

The Whites own some of the world's most spectacular real estate, which is a sharp contrast to the townships (shanty sprawls that surround the towns) that have emerged to house the blacks. It is suggested that one does not even try driving into a township for a fear of what might happen, though I think it is for fear of what you might see, so of course I do. The townships are made up of little more than one bedroom pre-fabricated huts. There maybe a kitchen first, which is often acting as a local shop too, selling home brewed beer, snacks, or other food/drink. The main living space, if available, is often quite public, but this is unlike the bedrooms which are a private and creative space. Wallpaper is expensive, so different cuttings of newspapers/ magazines may be used, and everything is used, creatively reworked, or multi functional. Outside, there is also a constant presence of music, and beer shacks flourish. There is very little employment available in the townships, and it definitely feels like they are the communities surrounding every town, that the government has often. Nothing is proper – not the infrastructure such as the streets, not the schools, not even wiring for the public telephone centres. In every case, people have had to be inventive, and create whatever they need. The only public service that is pervasive is the police. If the education, medicine, and social services were as present, because then maybe police would not need to crawl. It is not a pleasant place to be for anyone. There is a very real sense of these communities being forgotten and left to rot, and as a result there is lots of frustration, which I saw unleashed on a vulnerable victim before my own eyes. For example, the violence that I saw between a group of boys, of no more than 15 years old, was more bloody than I have ever seen in real life, and all because one boy looked at the girlfriend of a different boy, in a way that apparently deserved him being knocked out. There was a lot of anger in the air on all sides, even from those that did not even know who the two boys were – got involved. Teenagers hang around in threatening gangs, mothers are struggling with little ones and very basic resources, and fathers – I saw very few. I met the local shamen, who in this case was too drunk to be a guide or aid, but even he was not out of reach of the only thing in common between the town and townships – telecom, coco cola, and beer advertising! Red and Black booths that advertise and sell all three to youths who are happy to get drunk and then are easily drawn into spending silly amounts of money on long distant phone calls, chat-lines and games.

My own experience of assimilation (or rather the lack of it) actually came some minutes before I visited the township. I was on my way with some black friends (I do not normally mention colour, but we are in South Africa – I hope I haven't offended) to visit the township for a story, when I asked for the nearest internet café in order to check my brief. At the time I was driving through the black part of the town (which is where the well employed blacks live, others live on white farmlands, and the remainder in townships), and my friends told me that there was no such service on offer, and that no one would have the internet in their home. This is one example of inequality right there – in the black areas of town, there is no access to one of the most valuable tools of our time – the internet. So my friends suggest that I drive over to the white area, where almost every house has internet, and so there is no need for internet cafes. 'Worry not', says my mate, 'I have a white friend who is the doctor of the local area, and he has been ever so kind to me on numerous occasions, I am sure if we stop by his home, we can briefly use his PC, ' and so off we go.

As we go close to the white area the difference in living is marked. The streets are maintained by the local authority, the local shops sell flowers, foreign brands, and traditional country pottery – there are no such luxuries available on the black side of town. The houses become bigger and bigger, and are protected by high walls, barbed wire, and numerous guard dogs. At the doctors home, which is fortified by a high brick wall which was a good feet higher than my head, I did find a button and speaker which was placed at eye level. I pressed the button and immediately a screen came on which showed me my own image, peering into a very discreet and well placed camera. A ladies voice boomed out of a speaker next to the screen. It was the doctor's wife I was told. 'Hello? Can I help you?' she asked. She could see me clearly, but I could not see her. This screening system was not very mutually interactive;-) 'Hello, yes, I hope so.' I said, in my politest manner, which sometimes can be polite in fact, thanks;-) 'Is Dr Breamar in Please?' She responds with a sharp no. 'Ah, well the reason I ask is because Robert here, who is a good friend of Dr Breamar, tells me that we may have hope of checking something very quickly upon the internet here. We have driven right across town looking for an internet café, with no success.'
'Oh, I see', she replies. 'It would be different if my husband were here, but it is only I and the servants at home, and so it becomes a little difficult'.
'Ah,' (here's me naively thinking that this has nothing to do with big 'ole scary me), 'Only I would come in, if that is your concern.'
'I know that', she says, in a very manner of fact kind of way. 'But you see, our study is right at the back of the house' (this was a huge three story place), 'which means that you would have to walk through the whole house, and I just wouldn't feel comfortable in you doing that'.

Wow. Never before have I been so mistrusted right off. That was a clear sign saying clear off, because the possibility that you might steal something is too great for you to be near me. I couldn't believe the insult and put it down to one very rude and distrusting person, indeed.

My friend felt as bad as I did, and suggested that we go to a neighbouring local business of renting out cottages, and houses, which he knew had internet, and were much used to foreign people. As we drove up to the house, which was only one street along, and stepped out of the car. I knew immediately that this was not going to go well. At least four guard dogs were at my feet – for they had practically squeezed their whole face through the gate. I didn't even want to go as close as pressing the intercom button, and I know that this sounds extreme, but you really had to be there to feel the fear. The lady of the house could tell that someone was near (the point of the dogs I guess), and asked who it was. I again explained that I was from out of town and my predicament. This lady was umpteen times more welcoming than the last, it felt, as she happily opened the gate to allow the guard dogs to come out and attack me, if I hadn't immediately leapt into the car to drive down her driveway.

When I finally reach her place, which is down a winding narrow path along which all the guard dogs are competing to jump up to the car and scratch us through the windscreen window – I find that there is another intercom system at her door. I decide to ignore it, because the dogs were not permitting a lengthy conversation standing outside, and knock on her door. It wasn't worth waiting for her to open the door, so I sat in the car which was parked right in front of the door, until she emerged, else I could have been eaten alive – I promise you!

So when she finally does emerge, it is not even at the door. She only pops her face through the window to check me out! I found out that she was actually worse that the last lady. She had put me through terror, and my one leg was still suffering a spasm because of the reaction to the blood curdling dogs, only to pop her pretty little, fragile head out of her window on the second floor, take one look down at me, and tell me that regrettably the internet was not working at the moment. I looked at her, a little perplexed, and a little confused? So why exactly could she have not said this over the intercom system if this had been the case? 'So sorry', she said as she smiled a little too happily and watched me struggle to reverse back up her narrow winding, so as not to disturb the hoard of doors that had now collected at her doorstep.

Now my friend was almost embarrassed, though he did not have to be, and explained that he did not think that I would get the same treatment as him, being a coloured foreigner. To just be treated like this for one day really knocks o nes' sense of self esteem and belief in the world, promise and mankind. How does he handle this everyday?

The answer is that you did not have a choice. Either you dealt with it and did your best within the given parameters of injustice and inequality, or you were imprisoned. Those who spoke out, and there were many political figures and others who did, including Mr Nelson Mandela, were imprisoned. Whilst we walked across Robben Island, which is where all the most notorious prisoners were kept and asked to move x rock to y location, and then the y rock to the x location, for no reason I was told that even my friend and I would have been arrested. Actually, my friend, being a slightly darker complexion to me would have been arrested for having the audacity to walk around with me. That is how defining colour was in apartheid. Though my friend and I are actually both of the same ethnic origin, we do look quite different, and therefore, during apartheid, no questions asked, we would have been submitted to very different treatments.

So I asked other Indians, who were living in South Africa, under apartheid, whether they had experienced a similar thing to my friend and I. I spoke to a real mix of Asians, who appeared to be very comfortable with their history. One man very generously told me that he was a product of a rape. His grandmother had migrated from India for employment reasons, moved through Malaysia , Singapore, and then across to South Africa. It was here that she experienced a form of slavery, and was treated at her master's disposal. So how was he treated? Like a coloured, but he would act black, because he did not want to be associated with the whites. Other Indians however, would utilise the power of education so that they would be in such high demand to perform in technical jobs, that they could not they could not then be part of the black or white system. But ultimately, the actual shade of your colour determines how you are treated day by day, as soon as you step outside of your own front door. Your experience may not be the same as your brother or sister, depending upon the depth of colour of your brown skin.

Quickly one realises how everything is now in shades of grey in South Africa. Things can not be black and white any longer, because the whole original system has been flipped upside down. So now life in South Africa depends upon your individual experience of the varying degrees of the grey rainbow that still pervades the psyche on the street.

Japan is just so Japanese

Japan is by far one of the biggest culture shocks that I have ever experienced, and if I were to describe it in one sentence, I would say it is one of the most exciting places on earth, and this is said without any exaggeration.

Ever since the moment I have arrived, it has felt as though I am in a bizarre film in which every pleasure that you can ever imagine is thrown your way. Beauty, style, design, ease, fashion, love, sex, respect, grace, honour, helpfulness, delicious food, perfectly tailored and flattering clothes, games, toys, lovely weather, hospitable – pleased and pleasing people. I could go on…but essentially the foreigner here feels really good.

This could be explained by the rather child like way in which the Japanese live. Minimum responsibility and maximum fun! During my first evening in Tokyo this society was described brilliantly to me as a land of adolescents. At first found this to be an insult of the Japanese people, but the more time I have spent here, the more I enjoy this explanation.

Working perfectly
Firstly, everything works, perfectly and so you really do not have to worry about a thing. This goes for the transport system, that you can set your watch by - any and every time. None of the London styli – tubes delays, or NY styli – the F train becoming the E train half way through a journey, or Paris styli – smelliness and heat. No, this is by far the easiest city in the world to get around. Either by walking: for the streets are immaculate, always safe for men and women no matter what you might by wearing, carrying, or projecting. Or via public transport: which is perfectly efficient, reasonably priced (approx 1-2 dollars a ride) and advanced in design. There are videos provided as entertainment in the underground trains, organised advertising, and there are different levels of handles available for everyone to hold, I know I am easily impressed perhaps, but when you are about to fall in someone's lap in London you think about these things. Here the underground is so smooth you can stand (even sleep) during your whole ride and not have to hold anything!

Just yesterday I watched a woman who was asleep standing over a man who was seated below her, who was also asleep. They were both in what seemed like deep sleep – the kind in which you can accidentally dribble. And she did…the slitter of saliva fell from her mouth, slid down her chin and… fell…fell all the way down off her own face and dropped onto the man's hand. He, also being asleep, was completely unaware of what had just happened, but woke as soon as the dribble hit his hand. His immediate reaction was embarrassment (it comes easily to the Japanese) and he rapidly licked the dribble off his hand, thinking it was his own, and then wiped his mouth in case of any excess. The lady standing over him saw the whole thing and was mortified! She walked away to stand elsewhere, her eyes wide and blushing pink. There really is no where as polite as Japan!

Or there are taxis, which are equally brilliant, and symbolic of Japan's attention to detail. As you approach the taxi the backdoor will automatically open, because it is controlled by the driver, and you slip into clean back seats that are covered in immaculate white doyleys as a stamp of hygiene. The driver is fully equipped with every gadget at the front, so that your journey is as efficient and direct as possible – and the GSP is the first device to be consulted (as opposed to the continuation of his telephone conversation as in NYC).You arrive, you pay, you are treated with the utmost respect as though you are almost royalty, the door is opened for you and you walk out and are on your way, as the door automatically and silently closes behind you.

Food
Then there is the food. Bread, grease, and sugary drinks, that are common in our daily diet in the west now upset my stomach. Japanese food is easily the healthiest in the world I think. There are very few fat people here, skin and hair radiates, and people live to a fine old age looking 20-30 years younger than they are. Surely fish, rice and miso soup has something about it then. The average westerner has 4.5 kilos of fish a year, compared to the average Japanese who would have 67 kilos of fish, so of course there would be some difference in our physique. But they are so very much more healthy that this difference is more than just an observation, it feels as though it is a secret truth. Furthermore, the food is delicious. I have never been so keen on Sushi or noodles when eaten in the west, but here, it is something else. The blend of ingredients, the freshness and the size of portions, make each meal time an absolute delight. On top of which, the drinks are refreshing (iced tea, caspis (pronounced cow piss, so there is an alternative name available in English ;-), and barley wheat are examples) and there is warming green tea offered with everything, and strong but tasty Japanese beer or warm or cold sake (strong rice wine or whiskey) as the classic alcoholic alternative. These are just a few examples, for the list of curries and noodles are endless, but you get my point.

Design
Design is everywhere and perfectly blended with art. In homes everything is compact and well thought out, and generally there is minimalist theme present. So there are little spaces or containers for almost everything. Tokyo is perhaps one of the most expensive cities in terms of real estate in the world, so space is well used, but even outside Tokyo, the more that can be done with space the better, especially given the relationship between space, cleanliness and order, with harmony. So, there is little clumber some furniture, because everything can be done easily on the floor (sitting, eating, relaxing etc) and containers and wardrobes save space, and keep the possibility of chaos away.

Gadgets
This leads me neatly on to the gadgets and gismos. Now where do I or can I begin? This area is too large to cover thoroughly, but I can sum up by saying that technology is easily 2-3 years ahead than anywhere else in the world, and perhaps will always reach a level that is incomprehensible to the western world due to our inability to read manuals I was told yesterday. This is true given the fact that a simple VHS still causes confusion in some households in the west, proven by a recent marketing, whilst here even a PDA is seen as outdated. I was amazed by the replacement of a palm, that was shown to me yesterday. It was a laptop, with the same capability and functionality as the laptops that we use, but the size of a PDA. I am not sure how it was possible, but believe me when I say that even typing on the tiny keypad was made easy due to the spacing used. Then there are the mobile phones. OMG! We really are behind when I look at what everyone is carrying here, and given the fact that almost everyone changes their mobile phone here, on average, every six months, they really are all carrying the latest. Well, here all mobile phones can assist your navigation anywhere in the world, not only through built in GPS, and the internet – such that you can browse on your cell phone, read a book, edit the photo or film that you have just taken with your cell, send and receive emails, check any newspaper or service provider, download music in any format from the net, store anything additional on the inbuilt memory card readers, etc – but they are all java scripted, so that you can program them to do whatever you which by rewriting or adding programs. Too good to be true? Feel free to check any of this technology via the website for i-mode. Technology here is not used to make life more complicated, but rather to make life as easy as could be possible. So you if are disabled, or generally require home help, then there are robots available of every description ready to complete any task, from cleaning the house to cleaning and looking after you. I kid you not. Infact, there are such devices in every household. For example, I have not been to a public or private toilet yet, which is not designed such that you need to do nothing apart from sit down on it. The seat is thermostatically controlled so that it is never too cold for your bum. You do your part, of releasing your waste, and if that it is difficult, the toilet can make the sound of a waterfall, or bring peace through the sound of chirping birds, or make the fake sound of a toilet flushing in case you want to make noise and are too embarrassed to (as is the case for women in public toilets). Then once you have released, water will squirt up or sideways, depending on your preference, cleaning everything, and then warm air will dry your backside, which is more hygienic and preferable to using tissues. The toilet can even talk to you if you wish. Though I have never been on one long enough, because the process is made so efficient!

Vending
Now, if this still does not seem like a easy place to be, then imagine that you can get anything that you want at anytime from a vending machine. Beyond fast food, drinks and cigarettes, you can get complete meals from any nationality (naan bread and curries included!), any toy or gadget or appliance, and even soiled school girls knickers, if that is what turns you on! I kid you not, and I so wish I were!

School Girls
This brings me on to the school girls. I arrived on Saturday, when there were many girls out on the streets, dressed in school uniform, so I thought that perhaps school runs until Saturday morning. But I saw just as many girls on Sunday, and the skirts were short, the socks were always knee length and ties were fashionably loose. I decided to mention them in conversation and was told that these were the modern day geishas almost. Some girls were dressed in this way because it is iconic of youth and sexiness right now, but others were dressed in this way, because this was THE outfit to be a hostess in, and entertain men. A very popular activity in Japan, and a lucrative extra activity for women or girls. There are other big fashions too – belts for a skirt, stiletto's and tight, ripped, tops (fur and velvet) are popular right now, gothic and what I can only described as Madonna from the eighties. What runs in common in all three styles are extremism. Girls, and boys here, have hair of every colour, style and form. Why? Because when you are all born with black hair and brown eyes, then something has to be done to make you look different and for you to stand out. Hence the importance of fashion. Branded goods are another way to make yourself stand out, and purses are the primary mode of competition.

Impressed
Straight back is essential and everything is designed with this in mind, from the futon to the seating, or rather, the lack of seating. In a traditional Japanese home it is normal to spend more time on the floor than on chairs, and the taught position is to buckle your legs underneath you so that you are sitting with a straight back with your bum on your feet almost. A family will eat on the floor and then relax on the floor, and so there is no cushioning to encourage slumber, and self discipline and training is required. Sitting and eating lower down is also a sign of humility and respect…all good things.

Everything in a Japanese home, and I mean everything, is also neat and tidy. More than that, it is immaculate. I was at a friend's home recently and the damp chilled towels handed around before and after dinner, even though we all washed our hands before and after dinner is an example of the mix of eastern and western traditions making Japan seem a little over the top re. cleanliness and hygiene. Everything was like this. For example, you take your shoes off before entering a house - an eastern tradition, but then this is taken a step further because you will be given a pair of slippers for your visit instead. This is to protect your feet from the spotless wooden floor, and to protect the floor from your soft clean feet. On top of this, there may be some rooms, such as the bathroom, which will have it's own pair of slippers, awaiting your arrival. They were always ready and waiting so that they are the first thing that you encounter as you open the door, and they face the bathroom, so that you can just slip them on. I suppose that this is well thought out, because in the middle of the night it could be that you forget to wear your own slippers. Or for example, there was not a spec of dust to be seen, yet everything was covered just in case, such as the fruit in the fruit bowl. In a similar fashion I noticed that it was not uncommon to wear white gloves linen gloves when going outside, especially if using public transport. A delicate reminder of how it is important to stay clean and hygienic, and checking the environment around you.

Hard Working
There is not only competition in how one looks, but also on how one performs, in the work place. The Japanese are very hard working, and the longer you are seen to be spending in the office the better. Face time is important, as well as obedience. The way to succeed professionally is to always agree with your boss, ask as few questions as possible and say yes a lot. If in anyway you manage to disrespect (the biggest no, no) then you quickly bow, beg forgiveness, and almost false a stutter – showing how deeply embarrassed you are. The more I listen to Japanese, the more I realise that this stutter is easy to perform and sounds great when infused with the quiet, polite, mind language. So you might wonder how it is that they are so successful, if any kind variation from the hierarchy is so frowned upon. Where does innovation come from? Well, this is the surprising thing, there is little innovation, the success of the Japanese comes from the fact that they are able to research to the n-th degree, and create thorough and complete structures and systems, that have considered every eventuality and that everyone then follows.

Educational System
A disagreement between the Japanese is the most educational scene I have come across yet. Both parties keep nodding their head, and saying yes (they will avoid saying no, at all costs) and they make no agreement and no decision (because then one would be obviously wrong or in shame before another). So in the work place, decisions are made very slowly, especially because no one wants to take responsibility for the decision anyway). But once made, a good few years later, then everyone in the company will follow it completely, and there will be no waste of time in disagreement or divergence. If you are ever thought to question something, then your immediate reaction (if you are sitting on the floor for example) should be to bring your head down, before your knees, so that it is touching the floor, and place both of your hands on either side of your head. (For anyone who has seen Memoirs of a Geisha recently, you would recognise this). It is a perfectly normal and even expected way to say sorry, even today. There are many consequences of this that I am sure you can imagine. You are in a presentation, whether it is at school or the workplace – you would never ever question the presenter. Whether you understand or not, or even if it is to improve the presentation – never must you question and undermine the presenter's authority. So often there may be misunderstandings etc, but all questions should be asked in private, so that authority and respect remain in tact.

Engrish is brilliant. It is not English – but Engrish – the oriental version of English. I have a T-shirt now that says: 'Eric, Clapton?'
And one that says: 'I am so happy that I just want to go Bang!'
My favourite printing company, based on the heart of Kyoto: 'Screw Press'
And the best sign that I have seen on the door of a restaurant: 'Kill you Kindly'
Perhaps it was meant to say 'Will you kindly'…keep the door closed?! I am not sure, but I guess the Japanese are. Engrish is everywhere, and it is great – you will have a laugh several times a day, plus, guaranteed!

Silence
Silence is bliss. It is the desired state of being, and a reflection of harmony.
I did not realize, but from the moment I arrived I have really enjoyed this fact. Just slipped into it, so that my hearing is much more attuned, and if there is any disturbance of peace then I am the first to notice and you want to fix it immediately. Even the music is really delicate and harmonious.

Culture
I had learned a lot about the culture, the hard way. For example, I had managed to offend my Japanese friends family even before arrival. They had invited me to attend a traditional tea ceremony on Sunday afternoon. I had arrived into Japan on Saturday evening, and feel asleep like every other Japanese, after a good round food, drink and Karaoke, in a Alice in Wonderland themed room. I awoke the next day when a friend was gently calling my name, and the day was breaking. Is everything alright? I was asked. Hummmm…yes, great, why, whats happened? Um…nothing, that is the point, you slept through the whole day and your Japanese friend, Hide, was becoming worried.

Child-like
The society works so well that people do not have to think. Everything is done for them, especially for their countries, and so very few issues have to be addressed.

People fall asleep everywhere, in the tube - ok, so we have seen that else where but here you look for the person awake. They are so polite though, and considerate of others, that they would do anything but disturb the person next to them. It is all about personal space, but not in order to maintain your own but to make sure that the other has it. For example, most books are small, as are gadgets or anything else, but even normally big things, like a broadsheet newspaper, will be folded up so neatly so that you can read it without disturbing another.

Single women
A survey was carried out amongst single women in Japan, which learned that over 72% would rather stay single than marry. When I spoke to women about this statistic they would generally agree and then explain why. Traditionally marriages were arranged, and this culture is still strong, but more and more young people find their own, but as with anything in Japan, this is still done through introduction. In the Japanese culture there are like speed dating events that happen all the time, all over the country, because this is what is just to match make now, as opposed to the parents. A friend will invite a group of his/her single male and female friends, in the hope that one couple will hit it off, and since everyone knows what this socialising is for, conversations naturally lead to subjects like marriage, etc, and normally at least one couple will be formed. Most couples that I met in Japan met in this way. This is because the family background, and knowing about the person through others is still important in Japan, firstly for ones own need for recommendation, but also because there are some particular things that a woman and man are looking for, which they would rather know was there, than to find out after they are attracted to one another. Traditionally a woman would stay at home, after marriage and be a house wife and raise children, whilst the man would work. This is so common that most men still give their entire salary to their wives, who then give their husband a little pocket money in return. Anyway, as salaries have increased, and women have begun to earn the same if not more than men, the need for women to marry has decreased. There is no need for financial support. So rather than give up their career the woman would rather not marry, and the older the lady becomes, the more true the phenomenon is. Most single women get to live with their parents, and so do not have any household responsibilities and they get to save a lot of money. From this description it would sound as though the women are being materialistic, but it is such reasons for which they would marry in the first place, and now it is for such reason that they would stay single. It is just more profitable to stay single. It is hard to do both, as is common in the west, because on the whole companies expect your life here. I was often alone, lost in Translation, not because I did not know anyone, but because everyone is at work, and they would leave for the office at 7 or 8 and not come home until 7-8 or even 9. Some friends would break for dinner at 10, and then go back to the office for 2am, whilst during my time in Japan, one of my closest Japanese friend even slept at the office.
Is this because they really work so hard, or that they are inefficient, or that this is to impress the boss with face time? Answer, all of the above. Furthermore, it is harder for women to receive promotions and rise within the company, so by the time that this does begin to happen, in their thirties, they have normally invested so much that they do not want to leave. As a consequence there are a lot of advertisements that show these career women, which used to show housewives. There are love hotels – room that you can book for three hours, for obvious reasons, host and hostess clubs – for a pretend girl/ boyfriend, and even comfort pillows – a pillow shaped as a man's chest or a ladies lap, for the lonely opposite sex. This June Japan official turned a corner, and has slipped into population decline, with fewer people marrying, it makes you wonder about the future of the Japanese. Of course, financial incentives are being offered by the government but they do not meet people's salaries, which are amongst the highest in the world. I rarely saw children in Tokyo, it is almost as though they do not exist, and those that I did see, act as well behaved miniature, well dressed little adults. They are adorable. Many people choose not to have a child, or only have one child, being manageable and less expensive. When you are on the Islands of Japan, it becomes hard to step back and think about how they cope with this problem of decreasing population else where.

Loneliness
But this is in fact not the reason I felt lonely. I think this was because of the language barrier and it was huge! But it is more that people are really guarded and did not talk. Not about important emotional things. Not to me, but not to each other either. Many people confirmed this for me. Therapists or counselling is almost unheard of, yet suicide is – in a big way. You would not believe it but Japan has one of the highest rates of suicide in the world. Out of a population of 120 million, it is estimated that at the very least 30,000 people commit suicide in Japan, alone. Most of this number is made up of men between the ages of 40-50. The most common reason for suicide are failed businesses. The man often has sole responsibility of earning for the household, and in such a situation the overly aggressive bullies that are employed to get lent money returned can make you and your family's life hell. This became such a problem that the Japanese had to introduce some special laws protecting people, but still the bullying continues. Often the wife and children have to begin working, and so the man may choose to commit suicide. Why? Mostly out of duty. Even this act is done to provide for his family by the health insurance payout that will result from his death. That is taking responsibility. So some parts of the Samaria mentality do continue in modern life. The second most commonly affected demographic are girls from 10-20. I do hope that the Japanese will begin to share, talk and confide more than I saw them doing so.

Perfect
The society is perfect in many ways. No disease, very little illness in fact and a life expectancy of almost one hundred – the highest in the world so they must be doing something right! There is also very little crime, and sometimes it felt like no crime. You can leave any bag, camera, purse anywhere, and it is also guaranteed to be there when you return. No one harms the other intentionally, and I think that this is one piece of evidence that this is one of the last remaining group mentality nations in the world. People do not think about themselves, they think about the group first. You can see this in really small examples too. No one J walks apart from Foreigners, because here, people are aware that the laws are made for a reason, and for everyone's overall benefit, so everybody respects.

Eternal Youth
This is really what it seems that the Japanese have. Even the old people only look a little wrinkly, they never look that old. Not sure how to explain it, but you rarely see anyone with a beer belly (they cannot genetically handle so much alcohol anyway), or dark circles, or bad skin, or saggy xyz. This is for several reasons, but I think that the main is their diet. Each meal is a real energy boost, and not only do you not feel tired after eating, but you also actually need a lot less sleep. Or least my period in Japan is the least amount of sleep I have ever needed, and others say the same. That is why they can work hard, and yet also party so hard. (And they do party, with perhaps one of the most vibrant night life in the world too!). Their diet means that they retain their good skin, silky hair, and hydrated skin. Do you feel sick yet?

The government is partly to thank for this. They make everything within the country or anything that has come from outside the country, healthy. McDonalds food is changed (watered down and purified) to meet Japanese regulations, as is anything imported. One example would be cheesecake, which is modified so that it only contains a fraction of fact compared to the original. Still the Japanese are obsessed with the fact that they might become fat, and so every packet has all nutritional value including the calories, as do most menu's in restaurant, snacks foods, and even drinks. What I found the most helpful is the fact that general stores here hardly carry any junk, but rather have packets filled with healthy sheets of seaweed. Or tuna! This may be your train, because I do not think that this is the last one.

No wonder they created the world within Japan, literally. There are little countries that have been recreated to the last detail, so that those that want to travel but without the inconvenience of disease or crime, can visit the mini Canada or Netherlands, say, without having to hassle with travelling or exchanging money!

Service
The service is incredible. You are greeted with a pleasant smile and respect all the time, with endless bows, which too makes you very willing to oblige and not displease. The result are respectful people everywhere, who speak in hushed tones and are sorry and thankful the whole time, ie. very polite. Simple things make all the difference and there does not appear to be any outward aggression. I am not sure where aggression, anger or frustration goes, but I would like to believe that it is being internally managed. Of course, Japan having on the highest suicide rates in the world would suggest that not everyone is balanced or trained in emotional management, but the government are working on this and there are more and more courses, counsellors and therapists available. Only it may not be the 'done' thing, quite yet.

Hiroshima
So Japan…well the place that I had heard about the most, perhaps even more often than Toyko, is Hiroshima. It is hard to imagine that there had been an nuclear bomb thrown into mid air directly above the centre of this city. The only nuclear attack that this world has ever seen, with unimaginable consequences. More than half a million people were killed in less than five seconds. The rest died a little after five minutes, and those that did not die in the bomb blast directly died in the aftermath of burning buildings, the rubble, the lack of food and water for days. There was a sudden desert as far as the eye could see, and everyone in this sphere died. But the list of deaths grows every today. But to talk about the II World War needs real sensitivity, and in Japan it is a subject better left alone.

There is so much to see in Japan otherwise…Kyoto, Osaka, Hemiji, Islands, the list goes on and on. This place is a real must.

China and Curiosity

China is everything and more.

Before arrival to be honest, I did not have such a good impression of China.
From Non resident Chinese and non Chinese visitors alike I had been warned.
I was told that the people are aggressive, and the soul aim is to make as much
money as possible as quickly as possible, at any cost.

The last penny matters in every respect, and this breeds aggression everywhere.
If you are waiting for a taxi, do not be surprised if someone pushes you out of the way, time after time. People seem to be shouting everywhere, even when you are just trying to buy something. Do not expect please, excuse me or thank you. People spit everywhere an d seem to be blowing their nose out onto the street – everywhere. There is no need or room for politeness. And so what I was expecting was a rude and crude nation, and I was not really looking forward to it.

I think that the best way in which to give you a snap shot of what this land is like is to take you through some places, and sharing the answers that I experience d to some of the questions that I had.

I had many questions and each place that I visited would give me a different answer but then that is China…so diverse that it has everything you expect and everything you did not.

What is Beijing like?
Beijing is so beautiful, that it can bring you to tears. It is really hard not to sit in awe of the grand, rich and elegant palaces of the Forbidden City or The Summer Palace. I really did not expect such wonder, and it is unparalleled. Beijing takes you back to the days of the emperor and grandeur through millions of ways and sites. You can easily become lost, day after day, in this temple, those gar dens, that palace, the hutons (interlocking alleyways housing the now disappearing city huts). You could happily spend a good few weeks here and be having very different experiences every day. It is great for the photographer; you can be stuck in a bike traffic jam even on wi der than wide streets in the morning on your way to the pearl market, get to the bed bar for an afternoon nap after weaving through the narrow alleys ways, and then arrive to a Peking duck restaurant via a small peddler boat at sunset. It is hauntingly beautiful, an d this word is apt given the way the grand city looks under think city smog in the summer, or the low cloud fogs in the winter. It is very spaced out as a city, and so the think air just hangs in the wide streets, for you to loose yourself in never to escape again.

Shanghai?
There is no place on this earth right now like Shanghai. It is by far the most vibrant city – and its vivacity can be seen everywhere. Everything that is being built is up with spee d, grandeur and modernity. Whether this is the urban sprawl to house the millions, or the latest most hi-tech opera house in the world, or the ever expanding game/ sport facilities.
There are bright lights everywhere, but such a large volume that the world cannot support the expenditure of energy and so the city tones down after 10pm. So if you are wanting to catch the most awe inspiring view of the city, be sure that you are up in a high tower by 9.55pm (speaking from experience you see;-) Everything is available in Shanghai, from the best karaoke places (more hi-tech than Japan would you believe), and where you can do anything and watch anything, to rip of DVDs that work a treat, for less than 30 pence. The trick with DVDs or anything counterfeit in Shanghai, is to be asked to be taken to the source. Many dark alleys, and thousands of crammed flats later, you will get to THE flat, which may be on the fifth floor where precarious ladders have become stairs. In one room you might fin d a family of 8, and they will have every film imaginable on DVD, from mainstream to art house, and Nike trainers, Gucci bags, and Armani wallets to boot – all looking too much like the real thing!

Hong Kong?
HK has always been the first destination for tourists, because of the length of the rule of the British. On one hand it feels as though they have only just left, an d on another 1999 feels like a million years away. The Island has most definitely become one with Japan, but at the same time it is very distinct in character with areas such as Soho (which have the same feel as the Soho in London, New York or any other Metropolis). It is extremely cosmopolitan and the communities live side by side in perfect harmony. I celebrated diwali there this year, with the Hindu and Sikh communities. Both ha d flourishing temples, with elaborate festivities in accor dance with their respective religions, and then the two groups that I experienced got together at the end of the evening and ran riot with song, dance and party – together. It was easily one of the best diwali's that I have ever ha d the fortune to experience. Hong Kong has an incredible diversity of food, sights (because of the way it has been planned out) and activities. But the one thing that I appreciated most of all was the senerity you feel as you enter this highly charge d city, because of the way in which it is set around a calm body of water juxtaposed on the other side by scenic mountains.

Great Wall of China?
You cannot leave China without visiting The Great Wall. Though it is not actually a sight that you can see from the moon (sorry, that is all marketing hype that the Chinese are the first to disclose) it is one of the biggest feats in mankind, in size and significance. It resembles such a large part of Asian history, mentality, and prowess.

A visit to the Great Wall is not like anything else. No two experiences could ever be the same. Each part of the wall is different, there will be different views, different history, and even the time of the day that you visit makes a difference to your experience.

One evening, whilst out in Beijing, a local told me that he knew of someone, who knew of someone, who had heard once, that there was one hold man, who had made an arrangement with the local guar ds of the wall – such that he could use the towers as a over night resting place when traveling across the wall. In other words, someone knew that there was a possibility of being able to sleep in the Great Wall. You can imagine how exciting this su ddenly made me, and so I followed the trail back to the person who knew the old man, and the old man and his wife – who did not know a word of English – but really knew how to be hospitable, and invited me and my friends over for the 'experience'. Go d, and it was an experience. It was magical to see the sunset from the wall, it was not quite as magical when we were found out that this is where all the animal kingdom also roam, from mice to wild fox, but still, an experience none the less, an d it was especially easy to get up for sunrise! It was the closest I can imagine to feeling like a soldier in the Chinese/ Mongol armies, who would spend their lives living on and protecting the Great Wall. Only in my case, the Great Wall was more like protecting me!
The site, experience (however you would like to arrange it) and history truly blow you away.

Terracotta Warriors?
The Terracotta Warriors are said to be the 3rd biggest tourist attraction after The Great Wall and Forbidden City. It is in Xian, that there is a 2000 year ol d army of terracotta warriors – it was one of the most major archaeological discoveries of the 20th century. An underground vault containing over 6000 life size terracotta warriors, each with their own individ ual facial expression and style, stood with their horses in battle formation.
It is extraordinary…and my words can't do this site justice, but once seen and registered, you wonder what was the point?!

Some other sites?
There are many sites that just have to be visited, such as the Kung Fu Fighters at Shaolin Temple, which leaves you breathless because little children can literally kick the life out of an elephant with one lightening kick. Or, the Yellow mountains, which are a heavenly para dise for you to become lost in. They are a painters or artists dream – you know what I am talking about – every Chinese scene with delicate mountains clouded over by mist. Other idyllic places, include the garden town an hour outsi de of Shanghai, which is almost a scene from Coaching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Or Pingyao, where the whole town situated within the walls and architecture of the Ming dynasty, comes out at 11am in order to melt away with the best fresh donuts in the world. They are not what we are used to in the west – stogy, sugary and greasy. But airy in the centre, so that the sweet dough encasement just collapses in your mouth becoming a shear delight.

What is the food like?
It was hard to get used to restaurant Chinese food at the beginning, because it is really greasy, heavy, and when eaten morning, noon and night, like the Chinese, it was actually har d to stomach (literally). But this does not mean that there is not good food. It is just that you had to really search for good local food, and normally the best and healthiest food were the regional specialties found on the street. Every city I visite d would have at least one to die for delight, that only one shop would make, and at normal prices, so you would have to wait in a long line no matter when you arrive. In Peking it was fleshly steamed dumplings with a trillion varieties of filling, anything from pizza to salmon to spinach. Dippe d in vinegar and soy sauce they give a wonderful kick. In Pingyao it was a melt in mouth soft and slightly warm, sweet and gooey inside donut like plait. In Xian it was to die for Muslim-style lamb meat and nut cakes. In Shanghai it was the drinks for me. They seemed to have the greatest varieties of soya, bean curd, wheat, barley milks, every tea imaginable (with the flowers literally opening up in the bottom of your cup), and every colour an d flavour of pearl drinks (in which there are soft pearl like jellies that float up the special fat straws as you drink) and In the islands it was steam bread with a lovely nut, sugar, soya beam cream mixture. In Hong Kong it was the infamous egg cakes, made famous originally by Chris Patten. China also introduced me to sea delicacies that I had never eaten before; sea cucumbers, sea urchins, shark fin. You name it, they seemed to eat it. It is not uncommon for the fish shop to have crabs, lobster an d other such delights foaming in plastic buckets on the pavement, trying to escape from the netting.

One of my most important points of intrigue was – would I see or feel any communism?
This is a tricky one because it can vary so much from place to place. In Beijing for example, you really feel the presence of the government. Perhaps because it is so different to any other city that I have ever been to, but the extreme spaciousness means that you can be monitored all the more easily. Sounds odd, but from what I understand, everyone watches everyone very closely still, an d I have been told that it is good to watch what you say and how loudly you say it. A little like Big Brother multiplied by 1.5 billion! There is a large presence of police too. I was in Beijing when the country was celebrating their national day and on this day, every single Beijing citizen seemed to be in Tiananmen Square. The place was heaving with people, just like I had always pictured it the square, and the police and army were monitoring everything.

For this reason, and the closeness of community China feels like one of the safest places in the world. No matter what gender, age or appearance you are perfectly safe on the streets, day or night. I have never heard of theft and this is supported by the fact that people are very trusting with their property. The shame that ones' parents, teachers, colleagues, family and friends would experience if you were ever caught thieving (an d believe me everyone would find out) would make your life unbearable.

In companies there is almost always a member of the party in one of the senior positions and this person is someone often required for authorization and is again monitoring matters. This is not a big deal in the day to day running of the company, but when anything happens that is not according to party lines, and it does still matter, then it is always picked up by the 'party' person in your section of the company..

How can you survive without Mandarin?
I am finding it impossible, and before I arrived to China I thought that I was fairly ok at picking up the barebones of any language. But not here! I am not sure if taxi drivers have just decided that they cannot understand foreigners or whether they truly not see anything in my obsessively practiced address / location - but they will never listen. I have often experience a taxi driver just say no, (but a little more emphatically, for they wave their han ds in the air, shake their head rather violently, and shout 'pudon, gudong! – which I think means no no !'

How do people interact with one another here?
Right now I am in a café sitting opposite a Chinese couple, and this couple, like many others that I have observed, seem to fall into one of two categories. They either are very romantic, cute an d couple-ey (almost cheesy). Or they talk very little to one another, and there are lots of silences and not much eye contact. That is happening right now in fact, and I am beginning to realize that both are equally prevalent here. It is not rare to see a couple sitting in a car together, an d not utter a word for the entire time that you are able to peer into their window from your car (and no, this is not because they see you, watching them – I think;-)

What are the people like?
The more I got to know the Chinese the happier I was. They have the most fantastic sense of humour! It is very slapstick and dissipates any aggression or anger that you might feel is coming your way. Very quickly things become a joke, an d they are not shy at slapping you across the back if they are particularly pleased. Another way of getting out of an aggressive situation is to stand your ground back. They love that! Recently I was on a bus, an d I was tol d to pay by the ticket lady, but I was not only asked for my money before everyone else, but asked for three times the price. I told her that I would wait my turn, thank you very much (through hand actions because I can't say a thing in proper un derstandable Mandarin), and the bus, including the ticket lady loved it. She tried insisting, and then I would insist in return. The bus was in hysterics, and she too had a huge grin on her face and towards the end of the conversation she cracke d up in laughter and slapped me hard on my back, in approval it seemed. So I waited my turn, and when she came to me, she tried again, and asked for an exaggerated sum. I gave her exactly what the other passengers had given her (it was alrea dy prepared in my hand, so no attempt at speaking was required). She looked down at her palm, I held my breath, and then she said something to the rest of the bus, laughed, told me that was happy that I was learning the 'Chinese way', accor ding to my Chinese friend next to me and then slapped me on the back again (the longer I stay in China and the more I learn, the more my back hurts!). After that she was my friend and I was treated very well!

So what is it like to travel across China?
Well, there are a few things to be aware of…if you are eating, please skip this bit…

Toilets – the worst I have seen in the world. The smelliest and most unsanitary system of communal toilets is really something, and they are all over the place. Imagine a tile d dip in the floor over which you swat, as those the person in front of you and behind you, and you do whatever you have to do. If you are lucky, someone would have thrown water into this trough just before you arrive, so that it is empty. But more often than not, there is a little trickle of water maintaining this system, which is really not doing any maintenance, or moving along of your deposits, and so I am sure that you can imagine the rest including the stench and sight.

Roads – now I don't think you can avoid them so I thought that I should tell you because again this is worse than anything I have seen elsewhere in Asia, Africa or Latin America. It is seriously life threatening. People have powerful cars that they are not used and very excited by. There is no consideration for any one else on the road, only your own need to get somewhere. So to go into the har d shoulder and over take, or the need to overtake someone who is overtaking whilst they are over taking, or to overtake on a cliff edge (I kid you not), is common - I have seen it all. But you don't have to watch the roa d – there are TVs everywhere for this very reason…in the cabs, coaches, trains and even in people's car – flip down the flap above your head, and instead of finding a mirror, your alternative entertainment to the road is TV.

My cousin's driver was the best though. Whenever we were late, for a restaurant reservation say(!), of his own accord he would press a button that he had installe d into the 4x4 and then suddenly our illegal sirens would come on! I could not believe it! We would then act like a police car and demand everyone to get out of the way for this emergency, and because no one had ever seen this before an d authority is definitely to be respected - so people clear the road! It is a classic move, that he could loose his license for I think if the police aren't moving out of the way too:)

But to be honest, apart from there two dangers, I think China is one of the safest and most friendly places that you could hope to travel to. As long as you are intereste d in the people, and make an effort with them.

How do the genders differ?
Well, women here are some of the strongest, if not the strongest in the world. Perhaps this is because of communism, but they work very hard, with initiative, an d think twice about heading the domain in and outside of the home.

I never felt that women were treated differently to men either. Rather, women were treated and almost consi dered to be just like men. This 'equality' begins right from chil dhood, from what I could tell. One primary example of this are the school uniforms. There is no difference between the uniform of the two sexes. Therefore the school uniform in China is not at all sexy for the girls either. Where for neighbouring Japanese girls the uniform constitutes of a short skirt an d slightly see through white shirt, with knee length stocking. In China the girls where a tracksuit, just like the boys. You know, baggy cotton pants an d a t-shirt covered with a sweater if it is cold.

What I was really surprised by is that whilst women are strong, the, the men are timid in comparison. We all know of a tough an d sexy Chinese woman who can kick arse. You have seen here in Crouching Tiger Hi dden Dragon, Charlie's Angeles, and Kill Bill, you know the type. Well you see these type of women all over the movies in China. They are tough, know kung fu so well that they can walk up walls, an d very sexy.

There were many times on the trip that I would find myself in Chinese only company. One time, when I was going to Shoalin, (the site infamous for its masters of kung fu), an d because I did not stay in a hotel or hostel there were no other tourists that I knew. So I found myself with a Chinese tour group bus instead. So there I am, on a Chinese bus, with no one understanding what I think is man darin, and with no one speaking English. I had run out of cash, and needed an ATM, so I tried to describe this to a driver. One woman sitting near the front, in her forties, understood what I was trying to say before the driver did, and told him what I needed and then took me off the bus, which was fueling up. That was it, she had decided that she would adopt me and thereafter she had made it her mission to make sure that I was ok, that I always un derstood and that no one messed with me. When we found that there was no ATM at the petrol station she told me to follow her, as we searched the streets. She was so great! She would ask people where the ATM is, and men woul d do anything to help her, and they would always obey. For example, the bus was due to leave, so she called the bus company, got put through to the driver and told him where to meet her. Just as she was running through the streets with me, an d I had decided that she was just like the women in the films she confirmed it by performing some kung fu types move of her own! Remember she is over 40 at least, and yet she jumped over walls with me, ran fast as dodge d the cars, and then smacked the ATM so hard that it released the money that was jammed in it! There after, she would always make sure that I was not ripped off by anyone, that I had eaten, and I knew where to go and what to do and how, at each point on our tour. After learning about the capability of the women here I never felt alone or vulnerable in China and it all lead to some great interviews. Now some of the top firms, brands and organizations are being run by women. The women that I interviewe d were generally under the impression that it was China and the egalitarianism and work ethic under Mao that had made them this way. So it is not unusual to find women bus driver, managers, train conductors, police sergeants, you name it, they do it.

But course that is not all women and the other main type that I was interested by were the so called 'real women'. It is not uncommon for a tomboy type girl to be tol d that she is not girl enough. Taxi drivers and a shop keeper had the audacity so say 'Your not a real Woman' to my Chinese flat mate – whilst I was with her – she would experience this all of the time. The 'real' Chinese women really take goo d care of themselves and appearance. They maintain their youthful appearance, their white skin, glistening thick black hair, slender frames and smart dress. They are called hand bags. This is not meant to be a derogatory term but just a way of describing how they are meant to look pretty, and they sit like handbags beside foreign men (!). It is very common to see a pretty Asian lady next to a foreign man. But I did not really expect to see this amongst frien ds my age. That was until I went to dinner with some friends who had extended the invitation to a friend of theirs, Nicholas. Their friend Nicholas had been living in Beijing, like themselves for over a year, working as an architect. There is a real demand for foreign architects in China at the moment and it is an absolutely fantastic place to be. So anyhow, French Nicholas has a French girlfriend, but has an extra Chinese girlfriend on the side, that is French girlfrien d does not know about. Fani, his Chinese girlfriend is looking to move out of China, and Nicholas is her passport. She is hoping that she will slowly become more important than Nicholas' current girlfriend, and will do anything to ensure this. How do I know? This is what she told Nicholas, and he is absolutely made up, for there is nothing like competition if you want the best, he said at the dinner table. I seriously hope that Fani does not understand French. She did know English however, and like all other such 'girlfriends' I am told, despite the fact that she could be part of the conversation and that the company was trying to include her, she did not want to be. She would never give more than one wor d answers to a question, she did not eat or drink anything, and her sole purpose of coming to the meal, it appeared, was to make Nicholas feel good – with the more than occasional kiss, sweet nothings in his ear, and a lot more sweetness elsewhere. I later foun d out that I was not the only one who was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Not because of the amazing upfront display of affection at the dinner table, but because it felt like she was letting down all women. I know, I know, I nee d to control these feminist instincts, but whatever, in this instant I couldn't help it.

Then there are other Chinese women, like my University friend Aria, who despite the fact that she lives in Hong Kong and you would expect it to be widely different from mainlan d China, is finding it tough to find a 'real' man. She admits she is not a 'real' woman – according to the Chinese definition of the word, but a 'real' man would not want that anyway, she is convinced. According to her, an d some other modern Chinese women that I spoke to, Chinese men are a little too shy, reserved, and don't really know how to love. This is less and less true for the younger generation of men, but that age group is a little too young for Aria an d the other women that I met, so now they would rather be single than settle.

What is surprising?
One fact that I did not know, is that pornography is banned in China, whereas again, in Japan it is in daily cartoons! In China you cannot access internet porn sites, there are no porn magazines, vi deos or books (not even soft porn), no adult entertainment centers or strip clubs and no brothels from what I could tell. Everything was very strictly illegal. Perhaps this meant that it was being done underground, as all other illegal things, but from what I un derstand Macau and Hong Kong were certainly the outlets for the frustrated. The sad thing is that although prostitution is legal in these places, in Macau at least, there are no laws protecting the women. So it is commonly known that women are promise d lucrative jobs in Macau, lured in from the mainland, and then have to work for pimps. They are told to pay a daily amount back for the privilege of having a 'job' which means that they have to sell themselves several times a night, in or der to save their lives. It is incredulous, and sadly so common. Physical abuse can be seen on women in the street, and you do not need to ask what happened to the second lady – the story repeats itself in some areas, girl after girl.

In Hong Kong, in contrast, many of the local girls are willing to offer their services. More accurately, if you go to someplace it is hard to not be harassed. I know that there are places like this in every country or city, but I have not seen them so pervasively –
as when out with foreign men in Hong Kong and Bnagkok.

Gambling is illegal in China too – and again, Macau (an Island that was a formerly colonized by the Portuguese), is the Las Vegas of the land.

China is not all Chinese people, there are completely different ethnic groups in different parts of China, almost unrecognizable from one another. There are also pockets of muslim communities, Moguls, Tibetans, Mongolians…each with their own tra ditions and culture.

Bird flu is still frightening people and so you cannot get eggs, chickens or any food that might consist of these ingredients for the longest time, in some Chinese hotels, shops an d restaurants.

How does the 'one child policy' affect China?
As you look at the demographics of this wildly overpopulated country (despite the one child policy) there is a definite sharp bias towards boys, for the fact that they continue the family name. In some parts of rural China, if your first child is a female you are allowed to try again. But if you are 'unlucky' the second time, tough luck! But what I know for sure is that the majority of little chil dren were male. They are called the little emperors because that is how the little darlings are revered and treated. There are two most disturbing consequences of this. The first is that there is a whole generation of missing women, who are either aborte d before birth or killed straight after birth. Secon dly, you cannot help but wonder what will happen to all these men – who will marry them or be their life partner?

What is the fascination with Youth?
To look as young as possible is really important in China. Every cream seems to have an inbuilt anti aging agent. But it must also already be in the genes, because really, be they men or women, there seems to be no one between the ages of 27 an d 70! The population looks really young until they hit serious old age and then they over compensate with their wrinkly ness! The Europeans and Americans stick out for a reason other than being white. We look so old, especially aroun d the eyes! I don't mean to make you feel bad, and I include myself in this, and our races suffer less from acne than the Chinese, but I know which I would rather have;-) Though in my case I seem to be out to defy science an d both – acne and the wrinkly eyes;-) (and the constant winking doesn't help;-)!

What is it like to be part of the Expatriate Community?
There is a rapidly growing expat or Non Chinese population now in China. I experienced this through my French friends in Beijing, my first cousin and his family in Shanghai and International friends posted in Hong Kong for work.

Expat communities around the world are rather similar, symbolized by the fact that my cousin's wife, Tina, is looking to start a group called 'Mother Groovers'. This is for your typical expatriate wife who has a mai d to look after the children, people come in and clean the house and do all laundry and there is only so much shopping a woman can do. Almost all socializing is initiated through one's husbands work mates I was told, and the i dea is to get the expat women out together so that they can socialize with one another, away from children for one evening. I think that says a lot about the life of an expatriate wife.

However, if you work in China, as an expat, the world is your oyster. Everyone knows everyone, and this is generally a very well connected community which therefore knows or can get to know the right people to make things happen. You can meet the country's equivalent of Posh an d Becks, the top designers and artists, musicians and business people within the week if you wish. Since the country is only just booming, relative to its up and coming journey, the circle of successful people is still relatively tight-knit an d yet accessible.


How do people perceive Mao?
From my experience the Chinese that have always lived in China either praise, praise, praise him, or say, he made some mistakes, but the way that he bought such a huge country together – for the first time, creating a strong unit in the face of all foreign powers, deserves nothing but respect. Chinese people that have lived overseas are a little more critical of Mao, but I did not meet one person who is not in awe of the confidence and conviction with which he carried out his decisions an d plans (even though they were contradictory action-plans over time). For example, on one occasion, he blamed the famine on the birds in the sky, saying that they ate all the maize when flying over the harvest. So he encourage d everyone in the country to shoot or kill the birds with their bare hands if need be, in order to feed the nation again! There are many such examples of very extreme policies that do not appear to make any sense, but the fact that China – the big big big China that we know today, was formed never to be invaded again means that whatever problems that they may face today, at least they can deal with them together, for the benefit of China. This 'we can make it better' attitu de is everywhere, and most of all in the current government, who do not mind things being difficult for the nation today for long-term overall good. This is how the Chinese differ markedly to the rest of the World. They give up in dividual gain for the greater good of the country time and time again. There is very much a national unit / group mentality which is much stronger than focus upon the individual, and sets China apart. So to day, Mao is more of an iconic figure, a symbol of the country's prowess, and Mao memorabilia is all over the country…it is the time to go and pick up your very own piece of history in the form of a 'little red book'.